She Speaks Her Mind...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

human beings are never satisfied with all they have..

once they got something..they want more of it..its never enough..

they never learn..

many times they remind themselves that its more than enough..but yet again...they expected more..

or they expected that whatever is there must always be there..

i don't know why girls.....or maybe some..n more to the dependent girls have this contradictory mindset in them..

they knew they have to be understanding in certain situations..but they didn't..they cry and complain and whine over kiddish matters..

they made things worse..

causing relationships to be sour..

then.....after that will ponder ->what's the point?

..........why not accept it?

why hurt themselves? n their partners?

how can someone who was once single for a very long time..managed to get herself so occupied with activities..now turned into someone who can't be left alone or independent for just a day?

why?

can she ever imagine going back to the single lifestyle again?

will she die of anuptaphobia then?

haha...maybe.....thats if she continues to behave this way....

She Wrote What She Felt At
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
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Sunday, September 24, 2006

-moonCake!-

darl's mum told him that a man must buy a proper set of mooncake for his gf becos its a belief that it symbolises she'll be ur future wife..

n so...

we went town today(saturday) to get mooncakes..hurhur~

we saw the ads from newspaper of the different kinds of mooncakes from different hotels and brands..n i fell in love with the colourful mini mooncake from bakerzin!

we walked from Mariott Hotel to Orchard hotel..then from Forum to Borders to shop at the same time..n we ended our shopping at Taka. in the end we bought juz ONE snowflakes mooncake from Orchard hotel and 2 boxes of mooncakes from Bakerzin - 1 box contains 8 assorted mini mooncakes and the other box contains 4 champange mooncakes n 4 whisky mooncakes..super nice lo...

the 8 mini mooncakes from Bakerzin!

The snowflakes mooncake from Orchard Hotel :)

we gonna exchanged the mooncakes from Bakerzin evenly n give one of the boxes to darl's family.

this year is the 1st year i'm celebrating mooncake festival with darl n i tell u~i gonna force him to take lantern n walk around chinese garden with me!!

anyway channel 5 juz started showing a drama series "Prison Break", its every thursday 10pm.darl introed to me..i thought it was quite an interesting show bout this guy who tries to get into the prison to save his inmate brother who's innocent but was sentenced to life prison..should be like that? lol

darl's very into that show..he's currently watching the downloaded version..hope i remember to watch from channel 5.

http://ch5.mediacorptv.com/shows/drama/view/1311/1/.html

She Wrote What She Felt At
Sunday, September 24, 2006
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Sunday, September 17, 2006

:'(

......wHaT dO yOu wAnT?.......

She Wrote What She Felt At
Sunday, September 17, 2006
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Friday, September 15, 2006

HaPPinEsS

was chatting with chonglin in MSN..just crapping with him cos i'm super bored..vy vy bored now..at darl's house..he's bathing so i'm alone here in front of his laptop..

we happened to chat bout introducing opposite sex to each other..i wanna know handsome guys!!! anyway most of his guy frens are single..heh.. *wink*

i said that knowing more guys means i have more choices..more choices to choose the best guy who can provide me happiness..

he asked me what kinda happiness do i considered as happiness..

i juz typed without much thinking,

"someone who can crap with me..."
"someone who can tahan my crap...."
"someone who can allow me to be siao..."
"someone who can let me be stupid..."

although its all crap..but i realised the whole thing is about being able to accept who i really am..who i really wan to be...

at times when u set expectations for urself in order to let people have a better impression of u...u slowly turn into someone not totally yourself anymore..

you looked into the mirror to see the same old reflection of yourself but not the usual smile that comes deep down from your heart..

thats when you started asking yourself.. is this really what you deserve?

She Wrote What She Felt At
Friday, September 15, 2006
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

-DOWN-

i'm feeling so DOWN these days...just feel SIAN..not very sure why WhY wHy also..

can anybody tell me wHY huR?

been quite worried i couldn't catch up with my studies..not sure if i can memorise them all in for my exams..i understood them~but i couldn't put it in my own words when i do the exercises..why am i so stupid?!

i needed him so much..i felt so dependent n lousy~but we live so far away from each other..to meet up even for a second is like..so difficult~

i felt lonely easily these days too..the moment i'm left alone i just felt like crying in a corner..asking myself what's happening to me again? what exactly do i want?

-nOthiNg in this world must always suit to satisfy the way i want my life to be-i'm asking too much~

once again i'm being over-sensitive..i'm always making a fuss over this matter -tHe SaMe oLd mAtTeR-..always n always it kept repeating..i know i'm not supposed to get aggitated over this..i know its wrong wrong wrong~but each time this issue happens..i somehow got angry n for no reasons i shoot out sarcastic words... To conclude => i'm being SELFISH!

i dont know how i come to this point of my life when i felt like ending everything~i felt i'm asking way too much instead of being satisfied with what i have now..i'm not treasuring. Instead i'm groaning and whining non-stop..

i want to control everything within my hands but i know there's a limit to this so why cant i stop it? i kept reminding myself its better to let go..somehow my brain did not co-ordinate with my actions..i didn't do what i'm supposed to do..i didn't do the right thing at the right time..

i felt like a 21 yr old girl(shld be LaDy) with a spoilt-brat baby spirit living in my body.."its" controlling my emotions..my mind..my actions..my everything! the worse thing is its guiding me to the wrong direction...to do the wrong things..

its matter of your choice - whether you want to live happily everyday..by telling yourself every morning what will you want to feel for the day..

yea..i've been reminding myself to do this..(ie. To stay Happy for the Day!) it failed still..

how am i going to get back to my old self if this goes on?

what's my old self btw? the pessimistic self...or the optismistic self? so which am i? aWw...damn...

anyway i scored 23/30 for my MacroEconomics test yesterday..although its a 30% test but i wished i got a High D instead of just a D...SeE? i'm not satisfied again. >.<

She Wrote What She Felt At
Thursday, September 14, 2006
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Thursday, September 07, 2006

alright..i'm bored at this moment..3.10pm on a sunny thursday afternoon~

i'm supposed to start my revision now..but...i'm shooooo lazy to start!got 2 test next week..Intro to Accounts n MacroEcons paper...argHz!!!i'm so stressed up~i hate tests/exams!

they scare me freakingly especially when i haven laid any single fiNgEr on any books at all for the past 1 year! so afraid that my results will nt be up to my expectations..hmm? am i thinking too much again?

anyway la..i'm sneezing nonny nonny-stop again! not sure if i've caught a cold or that my nose sensitiveness is back again..i'm so freakingly sian ok! i wish to find someone to scream to....arrZzz..SianZ to the Maximum stAge of My Life!

dont know what i want..i dont wan to work..neither do i wan to slack at home..i also dont feel like studying at times...so...WHAT DO I WANT???!!!

ok la..i'm fine now~back to books~!

She Wrote What She Felt At
Thursday, September 07, 2006
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Monday, September 04, 2006

KL TRIP!

went to KL lASt LaSt weekend 26/8-27/8 with Mectron ex-colleagues and darl darl..very fun!! the whole trip we spent most of our time searching for places =.=!!

we woke up bout 5am on a saturday morning..andrew tan came to fetch me and darl to meet up with mingfook n the rest at causeway link.on the way there we used walkie-talkie to communicate between the 2 cars..andrew tan suggested some games..one party had to name an animal n e other will hav to make the sound of that animal..there were animals like monkeys..rats..elephants..hippos.. all the funny funny animals

darl with the walkie talkie

the next game we played was to sing advertisement songs n the other party had to guess the brand or product of the ad..we had shampoo ads,toothpaste ads..all sorts of ads la..so interesting n funny~

after all the travelling..we managed to reach Sunway Lagoon about 1+pm..

it was a mixture of dry and wet games..including the ferri wheel, roller coaster bla bla.. n bla bla..didn't play much games cos we only had limited time..the place gonna close at 6pm. boo~
but i hated that stupid "Pirate Revenge" ship ..it was rotating 360degree ok!!! we didn't read the signboard n i dunno hw i was dragged to take that ship,when i realised i was turned upside down i screamed like mad n i cried...sob* scary n sia sway you know?

after that we decided to go back hotel..n toopid andrew tan n mingfook wasn't familiar with the road so we took 2hours to return to the hotel!! grRrRR..i nearly vomited in the car..how excited i was to go Twin Tower to shop but spoiler them~by the time we reach hotel, almost all the shops already close liaozzZZzz...............

so we had our dinner at this pirate decorated restaurant and went back to hotel. it was mingfook's bday so we bought a cake..sang bday song..sabo him..then one by one we went to shower (we booked 2rooms btw..4guys in a room..3gers in another) n gathered in the guys room once again for games =\ they bought bout 12cans of heineken + 6 cans of Tsingtao beer from the hotel..we played card games..'heart attack' and dice game '7,8,9'

actually their purpose was to make mingfook drunk..poor boy..think he drank alot..but he won quite a few times too..andrew tan the culprit lost most of the time..n i guess half of the beer in his stomach~haha

next day woke up..went sungei wang n lot1 shopping..within hours we gathered n decided to return to singapore..guess all of us were super tired! we slept like pigs in the car..the poor drivers had to endure the whole journey.

we had fishball noodles for dinner at JB, went for car washing then back to singapore~not a very fulfilling trip but it was more like a fun gathering with my ex-colleagues la~shall plan a better one next time to go with my darl le!

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She Wrote What She Felt At
Monday, September 04, 2006
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