She Speaks Her Mind...

Thursday, September 14, 2006

-DOWN-

i'm feeling so DOWN these days...just feel SIAN..not very sure why WhY wHy also..

can anybody tell me wHY huR?

been quite worried i couldn't catch up with my studies..not sure if i can memorise them all in for my exams..i understood them~but i couldn't put it in my own words when i do the exercises..why am i so stupid?!

i needed him so much..i felt so dependent n lousy~but we live so far away from each other..to meet up even for a second is like..so difficult~

i felt lonely easily these days too..the moment i'm left alone i just felt like crying in a corner..asking myself what's happening to me again? what exactly do i want?

-nOthiNg in this world must always suit to satisfy the way i want my life to be-i'm asking too much~

once again i'm being over-sensitive..i'm always making a fuss over this matter -tHe SaMe oLd mAtTeR-..always n always it kept repeating..i know i'm not supposed to get aggitated over this..i know its wrong wrong wrong~but each time this issue happens..i somehow got angry n for no reasons i shoot out sarcastic words... To conclude => i'm being SELFISH!

i dont know how i come to this point of my life when i felt like ending everything~i felt i'm asking way too much instead of being satisfied with what i have now..i'm not treasuring. Instead i'm groaning and whining non-stop..

i want to control everything within my hands but i know there's a limit to this so why cant i stop it? i kept reminding myself its better to let go..somehow my brain did not co-ordinate with my actions..i didn't do what i'm supposed to do..i didn't do the right thing at the right time..

i felt like a 21 yr old girl(shld be LaDy) with a spoilt-brat baby spirit living in my body.."its" controlling my emotions..my mind..my actions..my everything! the worse thing is its guiding me to the wrong direction...to do the wrong things..

its matter of your choice - whether you want to live happily everyday..by telling yourself every morning what will you want to feel for the day..

yea..i've been reminding myself to do this..(ie. To stay Happy for the Day!) it failed still..

how am i going to get back to my old self if this goes on?

what's my old self btw? the pessimistic self...or the optismistic self? so which am i? aWw...damn...

anyway i scored 23/30 for my MacroEconomics test yesterday..although its a 30% test but i wished i got a High D instead of just a D...SeE? i'm not satisfied again. >.<

She Wrote What She Felt At
Thursday, September 14, 2006

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