She Speaks Her Mind...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Damn..i'm so lack of sleep everyday..projects and projects. Its only today that i get to come online and blog. And great! there's no project meetings later so I can stay at home to watch dramas.

i know i'm so damn slow..but i juz started watching the japanese drama 'one litre of tears' yesterday when everyone had blogged bout it so long ago..and SCV has repeated it twice but i didn't have the time to watch.

I watched 5 episodes in one shot yesterday and I cried so damn lots. It was so sad, she was only 15 and she contracted 'Spinocerebellar Atrophy', hope i did not get the spelling wrong. A kind of illness that is concerned with the coordination of movements. This illness progresses gradually which causes her not being able to walk properly, she may even need e help of a wheelchair, and she may not be able to write well or even talk well.

Like her, i ever asked myself, "why did it choose me?". If u wonder what i'm trying to say..i was a spinal befida patient.There was a blood clot on my spine, if it wasn't removed in time, i had a chance of becoming paralysed. I had the surgery in secondary 2, but before that i had 2 ops on my right leg when i was in primary school. Indirectly, it causes me to limp.

I was luckier, there's a cure for my condition but not for hers. Till now, the causes of her illness is still unknown and there's still no cure for it. She died at 25. So young, isn't she?

Well, on the other hand, my condition made me realised certain things,

In life, u can never have things the way you want it to be. Being satisfied with what u have is everything.When u think u are such an unlucky person, there are people who are worse than u. There are people who are struggling to live their life to the fullest every day.

When u are complaining over not getting ur beloved shoes, there are people like me who dont have a choice.

I dont have a chance to wear nice heels and walk around with short skirt and sexy legs. I dont know how it feels like to walk around with slippers. I used to get upset when i walk into shoe shops with my friends and there they are, trying on the beautiful shoes. while for me, there were only limited choices.And sadly, there were sports that i couldnt do as well.

I used to feel inferior, about the way people looked at me. Then, a favourite secondary school teacher of mine gave me a book when she visited me in the hospital and she wrote, "June, look deep into your heart, that's where true beauty lies".

It was later that i realised U dun hav to dress well to look good, its the confidence in you that shines your beauty.

While ignoring the stares of others, i felt happier being myself on the street.

Instead of feeling "sorry" all the times for being a burden to my parents, i learnt to say "thank you" for bringing me into this world.

This particular drama inspires me alot, i learnt how important it is to treasure life. How important it is to live life to the fullest everyday. i'm glad to have a close family, my darl, my friends as well as my current life.

I'm so blessed, so are u.

I'm not giving some sort of christianity talks today but this show somehow affects me alot that i wanted to blog it down. I dont usually like the idea of discussing my condition online or offline, but today i took the courage to share.

That's all for this entry. And i've actually started blogging on my CNY and other stuffs, hopefully i can post it asap in order to clear away the dust in my blog. Pictures coming up!

Cya!

She Wrote What She Felt At
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
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Monday, February 04, 2008

My msn chat with ChongZ...(trying to be lame.............)

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
sianz lehz

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
come help me wash car on wed ok

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
...........

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
giv me $1000 i'll do it!

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
wash liao den i give

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
bluff!

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
laiz

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
cannot anyhow frame me 1 ma

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
haven bluff yet cannot say i bluff

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
if i nv say u bluff,, wait in the end u bluff me,den isn't it the same as saying u bluff me in the first place..so that i'll be prepared to be bluffed?

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
but if u say i bluff u, in the end i nv bluff u, den u starting say i bluff u, isn't it the same when i say u shouldnt say i bluff u when i did not bluff u, then u no need to prepare to be bluff ma

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
but if i nv say u bluff me then in e end u bluff me, i'll feel hurt that u bluff me that u said u'll nv bluff me but yet still bluff me, so i might as well say u bluff me 1st so that when u realli bluff me, i wont be bluffed lo

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
but if i nv bluff u and in the end i really nv bluff u, den u say i bluff u in the first place and i really didnt meant to bluff u, why do u wan to think i'll bluff u in the beginning if at the end i didnt bluff u. so u should not think i'll bluff u 1st when i haven even bluff u in the middle or the beginning

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
i give up! i dun wanna say u bluff me if not u accused me of saying u bluff me when in e end u'll definitely bluff me yet dun wanna admit u bluff me.so since u feel u wouldn't bluff me..then i shall try to trust that u wont bluff me then i wont say u'll bluff me in the 1st place..like that we wont bluff each other that we got bluff each other..so in e end we nv bluff lo!

Chong Lin People believe, whatever they want to believe. says:
give up still can type compo

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
hahha

Ju|\|eZ : The Only Constant is Change says:
li hai hor?

Yeah!!! I won! :P

She Wrote What She Felt At
Monday, February 04, 2008
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My brother called me 11+pm on saturday when i was on the way back from sembawang. He told me they caught a bird in the house. I was like "stop kidding! In the middle of the night? a bird flew into our house?"Indeed, there was this cute little bird or sparrow inside our basket! OMG..isn't it cute?!

It flew into our kitchen balcony and my mum still thought it was a SUPER BIG BIG butterfly! -.-! cute mum....

i guess it lost its way while trying to explore the world at night? so it flew into my house. Initially my brother wanted to try rearing it, so we fed it with bread, biscuits and water but it didn't touch the food at all..

So the very next day, my brother set it free..we all agreed as we were afraid it might commit suicide or die becos of our lack of knowledge in taking care of the bird. Daddy says it's mummy is looking for him to celebrate CNY so we shouldn't be selfish =)..like talking to kids like that..haha

Still..thank you cutie bird for giving us such a memorable night~

Had dinner with poly ger frens, Shufen and Huifen at Vivo Sushi Teh last thursday. Pictures taken at Harbourfront Station:

Me with Shufen san

Huifen and Shufen

Huifen & me.

Yeah~i've upgraded to a Super-single bed! haha..mum and dad went courts with me to choose. New bedsheet with my dirty chip and dale.

Re-decorated my study table with pictures~Jay, Rain, Amei, my family, darl darl and friends pic!

I've bought my new dresses, tops, bottoms and shoes. Almost everything's new! Mum and i decorated the house with all the new year displays as well as spring cleanings.

Yup! We're ready for the Ratatouille Chinese New Year!

She Wrote What She Felt At
Monday, February 04, 2008
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