She Speaks Her Mind...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Damn..i'm so lack of sleep everyday..projects and projects. Its only today that i get to come online and blog. And great! there's no project meetings later so I can stay at home to watch dramas.

i know i'm so damn slow..but i juz started watching the japanese drama 'one litre of tears' yesterday when everyone had blogged bout it so long ago..and SCV has repeated it twice but i didn't have the time to watch.

I watched 5 episodes in one shot yesterday and I cried so damn lots. It was so sad, she was only 15 and she contracted 'Spinocerebellar Atrophy', hope i did not get the spelling wrong. A kind of illness that is concerned with the coordination of movements. This illness progresses gradually which causes her not being able to walk properly, she may even need e help of a wheelchair, and she may not be able to write well or even talk well.

Like her, i ever asked myself, "why did it choose me?". If u wonder what i'm trying to say..i was a spinal befida patient.There was a blood clot on my spine, if it wasn't removed in time, i had a chance of becoming paralysed. I had the surgery in secondary 2, but before that i had 2 ops on my right leg when i was in primary school. Indirectly, it causes me to limp.

I was luckier, there's a cure for my condition but not for hers. Till now, the causes of her illness is still unknown and there's still no cure for it. She died at 25. So young, isn't she?

Well, on the other hand, my condition made me realised certain things,

In life, u can never have things the way you want it to be. Being satisfied with what u have is everything.When u think u are such an unlucky person, there are people who are worse than u. There are people who are struggling to live their life to the fullest every day.

When u are complaining over not getting ur beloved shoes, there are people like me who dont have a choice.

I dont have a chance to wear nice heels and walk around with short skirt and sexy legs. I dont know how it feels like to walk around with slippers. I used to get upset when i walk into shoe shops with my friends and there they are, trying on the beautiful shoes. while for me, there were only limited choices.And sadly, there were sports that i couldnt do as well.

I used to feel inferior, about the way people looked at me. Then, a favourite secondary school teacher of mine gave me a book when she visited me in the hospital and she wrote, "June, look deep into your heart, that's where true beauty lies".

It was later that i realised U dun hav to dress well to look good, its the confidence in you that shines your beauty.

While ignoring the stares of others, i felt happier being myself on the street.

Instead of feeling "sorry" all the times for being a burden to my parents, i learnt to say "thank you" for bringing me into this world.

This particular drama inspires me alot, i learnt how important it is to treasure life. How important it is to live life to the fullest everyday. i'm glad to have a close family, my darl, my friends as well as my current life.

I'm so blessed, so are u.

I'm not giving some sort of christianity talks today but this show somehow affects me alot that i wanted to blog it down. I dont usually like the idea of discussing my condition online or offline, but today i took the courage to share.

That's all for this entry. And i've actually started blogging on my CNY and other stuffs, hopefully i can post it asap in order to clear away the dust in my blog. Pictures coming up!

Cya!

She Wrote What She Felt At
Wednesday, February 27, 2008

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