She Speaks Her Mind...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Love or Hate yourself?

I guessed i hate myself more..

I hate myself for being who i am now..

I'm not sure the way i behave, think and act was right or wrong..

Each time something happen, i would ask myself..why in the hell did this happen?

Was i right to do that?

I realised that in the end i got very upset over the whole matter..even if its over..

To me..it still doesn't seem right..

I guess..the problem still lies in me..i should change?

But yet..it is still uncontrollable..How?

I kept finding fault in myself..until i really dislike myself..

I'm not likeable at all..

I tried not to think of the worse..but somehow i'm still worried that history will repeat itself..

What exactly is the right way to love someone?

How to pretend you dont care when actually you are?

How to act like you're not upset when actually you are?

Does it really depend on the way i want to look at things?

Or is it common to have this kind of reaction?

No one would understand except the ones who're standing on my position now..

People who didn't or couldn't understand told me i was at fault..

Yet people who are in the same position told me its a normal reaction..

So...which is right?

I guess even till now..his perception of me..is still the same..

Nothing has change to the better..All along..I'm still the same..

I've never improve..

*Sigh* what should i do then?

-Updates on my Genting trip from 8Nov - 11Nov will be up soon..Am uploading the pictures now-

She Wrote What She Felt At
Tuesday, November 14, 2006

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