She Speaks Her Mind...

Friday, June 02, 2006

sometimes i wonder how life would be like if i'm still single now..will i be leading a carefree life? going home everyday after work, chill out with friends during weekends..nobody for me to think of...nobody for me to worry...nobody to lent me a shoulder to lean on...perhaps this way..i would be stronger..

how to know if a couple is meant for each other? how to know whether they can be together till they get married..have kids..till death do 'them' apart?

a couple can be so loving everyday but 10 years down the road then they realise they were not meant to be...another couple can quarrel everyday but still they know they'll be each other's life-long partner..

why is love such a complicated thing? why cant it be straight forward? why does it need to be so draggy?

being in a r'ship made me realise what kind of person i am..a simple vulgar - "fucked up"

i realise i was so weak.. so possessive.. so protective... so temperamental.. so unreasonable.. so insecure..simply a bitch!

i know sometimes i expect too much..too much of attention from him..i know i had to be understanding..to be accepting.. but still.. i didn't do it.. i showed attitude..

i hurt myself even more in the end...

i told myself not to put my all in him... becos i have lots more to accomplish.. unknowingly i love him more than i should..

i needed alot of his comfort most of the times.. but why do i have to control my emotions in front of e person i love but cry in front of the person who loves me?

i felt so lonely..i thought i could handle both friends and r'ship well but i was wrong.. once u're commited to a r'ship u wont have much time for friends.. ur friends left u.. n ur partner does not have much time for u.. u're left alone..

sometimes i thought.. leaving him to find a better one may be better for him.. becos he has to tolerate all my nonsense.. my temper.. my mood.. maybe juz a "lets break up" can solve everything..can relieve him...but i couldn't bring myself to say this..becos of the sickly word "Love"

but how long he can tolerate? how long do i need to change?

perhaps shutting my mouth may solve everything..by not saying anything..quarrels will not take place..

so Bitch! shut up ok!

i apologise for blogging such a emo entry when its just the 2nd day of the opening of my new blog..but its a place where i can write all my feelings here..to make myself feel better...

She Wrote What She Felt At
Friday, June 02, 2006

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