She Speaks Her Mind...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

basically things didn't turn out well for me recently..especially between us..

we're either quarreling..or he's making me vy upset. i've been like sobbing n sobbing non-stop..my eyes were so tired n swollen..

he wasn't in the wrong..he was trying to help me..as what he said..

to make me stronger n more confident in my decision..that's why he's giving me negative remarks on my study issue..

he's right..i took his words too negatively..i always assume that he's discouraging me to do certain stuff but actually he's trying to tell me what i lacked of..but i felt..this wasn't the right time..

i thought it might be better if he helps n gives me advices on what i shld do n improve myself instead of telling me my negative points..

but no..no encouragement at all....until the last moment he told me he'll support me in every way...

sometimes it makes me ponder what's the use of making me cry and after that telling me you're sorry...your approach was wrong..n u'll support me? you nv know how much difference it makes when u tell me these before and after u made me cry..

on the other hand i knew your intention was good..you were like what you said..trying to instil confidence in me..but still..i took it negatively..

i'm sorry but this is me!

you can say i cant accept criticism..i cant face failure..i cant take stress..i'm simply having too much of good life till i cant be independent enough to face everything myself..can you just...continue to let me lead this kinda life?

i'm always shaky in all my decisions..but i know at the end...i'll still go with my heart..i juz need a little more push..to tell me that "yeah girl! go ahead with it! you can do it!"..but seems like..i've to go through this myself..

i encouraged myself instead...to do more research on my course..to prepare myself for school n everything..maybe its a good way..i became more independent...

i just hope everything gets over fast...i have more than enough!

*~Loving me was nv easy....so why bother to?~*

She Wrote What She Felt At
Wednesday, June 07, 2006

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