She Speaks Her Mind...

Monday, June 05, 2006

haiz..in dilemma..i felt so stressed up now..the feeling is like..can i juz end my life? so i wont have to worry so much?

i mentioned i'm going back to study...going for marketing degree course instead of continuing my IT course...

i know i will definitely not go back to IT..but why marketing? cos of recommendations and interest? majority of my friends took up marketing told me its fun n interesting.
n during my poly i took up this IS module "Intro to Marketing Comm" and i liked it very much..

so i tot....maybe this is wad i wan..so i selected it..n was accepted by SIM RMIT and indirectly accepted by UniSIM..y indirectly neh? cos i'm not 21yrs old and does not hav 2yrs working experience.
so they allowed me to take up their Certificate Programme and i'll be transferred to the actual degree only next year Jul07..

i seeked everyone's advice..as usual..everyone has different opinions..suddenly i became Xuan the 2nd when she was in dilemma whether to choose SIM or NUS.haha..

i guess i needed encouragement more than advices.. esp from him..... but what i've got are stress and more stress..
his advices were good..but it made me more confused.it made me realised......

is this really what i want? did i make the right choice? will it affect my future?

he's right..i'm not prepared..not prepared to go back to school..to study..to handle the stress..the exams..but i have my own thinking..i dont wanna drag my time..even i'm not prepared..so when am i? 3yrs? 4yrs? 10yrs? or even 20yrs?maybe b4 the day i die then i realise what i wan..is it still early??

to me..or to most gers..degree is important! but not to him..

why is it that our opinions always so different?

why is everyone telling me i can do it but not you?

if there's one person to play the bad role why must it be you?

i'm sandwiched by many people..

my dad..who always wanted me to study to get a degree no matter what..

him..who thinks i'm not prepared and shld wait till i find my goals then applied for the field i want..

frens..who thinks i can do it becos not everyone has the will to go back study..as long i'm willing to work hard..nth's impossible..thanx all! :)

myself..to study or not to?i dont wanna disappoint everyone and most importantly myself..maybe i'm giving myself too much burden..i kept thinking n thinking..but still my mind seems to tell me..i shld go for it....

i wish i could juz knock myself n go into coma so i dont hav to do anything..just slp there..

kill me ba.....

She Wrote What She Felt At
Monday, June 05, 2006

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